Cats (2019)
- Movies With Morty
- Dec 21, 2019
- 4 min read
The Worst Film Of 2019!!!
Cats (2019) tells the story of a tribe of cats called the Jellicles who must decide yearly which one will ascend to the Heaviside Layer and come back to a new Jellicle life.
Written and Directed By Tom Hooper (The Kings Speech, Les Misérables),
Cats (2019) is hands down the worst film of 2019 and one of the worst films I’ve ever watched in my whole existence. Let’s dive into why it’s the worst film of 2019....
The Film....
Where do I even begin to explain how diabolical this film was?. I went into this film with an open mind regardless of the bad reviews from critics and audiences alike, but from the moment this film started it was an absolute train wreck with quite possibly one of the creepiest and quite frankly scary sounding song, it felt more like I was getting ready to watch a horror film more than a musical. But then the “cats” started singing and didn’t stop, it was one song after another and yes I know it’s a musical but normally the songs are spread out, these weren’t and solely relied on the songs to tell the narrative.
Speaking of the story I genuinely didn’t think it had one and if it did it really wasn’t explained very well at all. I actually ended up going to sleep quite a few times because it’s story was slow and boring and wasn’t paced at all well.
Let’s move on to the ‘cats’ themselves, I use the term cats like that because they just didn’t feel anything like cats, just massive furry humans who danced and sung for the 2 hour runtime of this painful film. I didn’t realise cats had boobs and human hands and even danced with trainers but next time I'm out and about I’ll be on the lookout for these special looking cats. They also were shrunk so small they didn’t look cat sized, instead more mouse size.
Another painfully looking subject was the CGI, deary deary me was the CGI abysmally produced in this, in fact it looked like a newly graduated university student had worked on it. The faces CGI’d for the beatle army and the mice were nothing short of a terrifying mess that will haunt children watching this for a good while. Even some of the dance sequences were quite visibly done in front of a green screen and didn’t match up with the cobbled floor they were dancing and prancing around on.
The only thing I can say nice about the film was the Production Design and some of the dance sequences. The sets did look impressive and the use of colour was very striking to the eye and were actually quite nice, the use of purples and blues that contrasted with reds really stood out. The dance sequences were marginally okay, well choreographed and full of heart, one that did stand out for me was The Railway Cat scene in which he is happily tap dancing away.
The Cast....
Moving onto the cast, there was only really a few that kind of stood out for me.
First off lets just appreciated those who actually saved this film. Lets stand for Sir Ian McKellen (X-Men, The Lord Of The Rings), Dame Judi Dence (Spectre, Red Joan), Taylor Swift (The Lorax, Valentines Day) and lastly newcomer Francesca Hayward.
Every single of those actors/actresses I’ve just listed above saved this movie for me, Ian Mckellen was brilliant and loveable as Gus The Theatre Cat, Judi Dench was the only funny member of the cast, Taylor Swift was the only decent singer and had the best musical number and lastly Francesca Hayward had the best dance sequences and I can’t wait to see more of her in future films to come.
I never have really liked Rebel Wilson and that’s not changing anytime soon, she’s the most unfunny Hollywood actress in this day and age and she’s awful in this too. Just try hard humour which doesn’t pan or play out well and will make you cringe more than anything.
I honestly normally love Idris Elba but I genuinely don’t understand why a talented and amazing actor such as himself took on this wreck of a film. I thought better of him than to take the role of playing the bad ‘cat’, that role could have been given to Vin Diesel or someone along those lines. Idris if you ever read this please don’t come for me, I’m saying this so you don’t make this mistake again because you are a brilliant actor.
To Conclude....
Cats (2019) is a drug infused 2 hour ride of pure torture and pain which is a train wreck from start to finish with the exeption of a hand full of its cast and its striking production sets which will have you in awe.
My future children best behave otherwise there punishment won’t be sitting on the stairs, it will be in front of the TV watching this to teach them to behave.
Rating: ⭐️/5
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