Artemis Fowl? More Like Artemis Foul!!!
Artemis Fowl (2020) tells the story of 12 year old Artemis Fowl who seeks to find his kidnapped father, a criminal mastermind, whilst also uncovers a world of ancient, underground civilisations.
Written By Hamish McColl, Conor McPherson & Eoin Colfer and Directed By Kenneth Branagh, I think we have another contender for the worst film of 2020. I honestly couldn’t wait for it to be over and done with and the 1hr 36min runtime made it feel like forever. Let’s dive in as to why this may make the Top 5 Worst Films of 2020.
The Film...
I don’t actually know where to even begin with how to describe this film. I’ll admit I haven't read the books which the film is based off and I can understand why I haven’t read the books, it’s a god awful and predictable story which doesn’t really amount to anything by the end. It’s a generic, predictable and uninteresting story that didn’t engage me throughout the duration of the film. It even got to a point I knew what the characters were going to say before they even said it. If it wasn’t for the synopsis I couldn’t tell you what the story actually was about and what the moral of the story was either.
The film tries using some “clever” camera movements and effects to trick you into thinking the film is well shot, which in reality just doesn't really work, those damn fairy‘s tricking us again!!!. There were even moments the film couldn’t keep up with the action and had this sort of “slow motion” effect and then would speed up again, this was my internet connection or the “time freeze” sections of the movie either, I checked.
It also has one some of the most cringe worthy lines of dialogue of the entire year, I won’t go into details to avoid spoilers but a like that stuck with me comes from Judy Dench (which will we get onto soon) in which her character reveals how old she is by saying “I’m 813 years old”, this is how old I felt by the end of the film.
The Cast....
Playing our main character Artemis Fowl Jr and his big screen acting debut is Ferdia Shaw. Playing his father Artemis Fowl Senior is Colin Farrell (Widows, The Lobster).
We then have Captain Holly Short who is played by Lara McDonnell (Love Rosie, To Walk Invisible), Commander Root who is played by legendary actress Judi Dench (Skyfall, Red Joan) and playing Mulch Diggums is Josh Gad (Frozen, Beauty & The Beast).
There wasn’t really anyone who stood out and had an amazing performance, they were all just meh. Which is a shame really considering it’s Ferdia Shaw’s big screen debut and I know with more experience he will be an actor to look out for in the near future.
What I do want to talk about is what legendary and veteran actress Judi Dench is doing in this film and why she has lowered herself to do films like this?. Lately I have noticed the films she has been in aren’t the best, 2019’s Cats is a brilliant example of this (everyone’s PTSD has just flared up) and I really hope she finds her mojo again as she is just laughable in this in her green fairy commander costume and just doesn’t give a good performance. I love you Judi but please be more cautious of the films you choose going forward cos you are much better than this.
To Conclude....
Artemis Fowl (2020) is one of the worst films to come out of 2020 so far with its boring and disengaging story and it’s annoying and stale characters. If they ever make a sequel they have some serious work to do. I also never want to hear the name Artemis Fowl ever again in my existence.
Artemis Fowl is available to stream on Disney Plus worldwide now.
Rating: ⭐️/5